Dealing With Sexual SIN!

Feb 2, 2017




I have a confession. I find myself anxiously wrestling with the thoughts of judgment from others. The things  they will say about me. The broken perception of my identity. In journeying with Christ, the truth of my heart and pleasurable deeds has exposed me many times. Frail in Spirit, sinful in body, however daily being renewed. I've struggled with affection to please my flesh—while still serving God. To the divine, who stands on the pulpit, I should be casted away and no longer included in the body of those who confess to be forgiven. After the self identification of my sin, I've realized how easy it is for them to judge, mock and diligently gossip. They pride themselves to be better than those who openly display their sin, but refuse to extend a hand in grace. Whispers of " I will never" have become the symphony orchestrated around their lives. However, they have forgotten to remove the log in their eye as they boastfully point out the speck in their neighbours | Matthew 7:5|. 


I've recited scripture, fasted for the passion to be quenched by God's wholesome love. Yet, I found myself giving up my body—what belongs to God himself— to my boyfriend who was not worthy to justify or cleanse my soul from destruction. The immoral passions of human nature—what kills my soul.  I've come across conversations with friends who seem to battling with the same things. Yet the desire to be right with their Saviour aches because of their sin. Their passions rule over them and they find themselves in a guilty pit. Recollecting what they should have done. Backtracking on what could have happened. What concerns their hearts are questions they ask themselves. Are they right with God? Will He forgive? Have they truly repented? Spiritual fruits hidden. Nothing in their lives and in mine being produced. Has our salvation come to an end? Has the Lord giving us away to our passions, outcries of confusion still entangled in condemnation. Weeping profusely, they battle with the struggles of imprinted scars that were prematurely opened up at infancy.


The world is a stump full of paradoxes. One side says explore, pursue all the sexual desires and don't be ashamed it's who you are. Contrary to popular beliefs, God is true to His word. Stern in discipline when He says, " flee from sexual immorality"| 1 Corinthians 4:18| . So why is it that believers, such as myself, have struggled in this area and are still struggling? King David—a man after God's own heart—wrestled with sexual sin. He went to extent of hiding it. He made provision for the flesh and foolishly fell. I've made provision from the flesh and have foolishly fallen. God's rebuke hovered in my spirit. Shame with every tear falling, as I uttered melodies of forgiveness, "Create in me a clean heart,Oh God, and renew a right spirit within me| Psalms 51:10|

I was exposed to sex at a tender age. I lost my virginity around the age of 15 to a boy, I thought I was madly in love with. You couldn't tell me that my heart didn't beat in synchronized motions for that boy. My thoughts tainted with deception. Lust fostered in and developed into something so poisonous that it also led to masturbation. I didn't  know the seed would be rooted so deep that it would affect others aspects of my life in years to come. When I wasn't in his bed I was satisfying my body some other way. Lust continued to work, and I fed into my passions. When I got saved, grace abounded but the passions didn't leave. Before I got into a relationship I remember signing a purity pact with God. I made it known to any one, who would listen that I would wait for marriage to give up the goodies again. Unfortunately, my never will I ever became the pride that aided to my destruction. My boyfriend and I slipped up and opened the door in our relationship. I love God, I knew that I was saved, but the truth was I was not that Christian that waited until my wedding day. Stains of a white sheet imprinted on a love that was supposed to be led from God, had us both caught up in what we craved for more; US and less of HIM. The guilt overwhelmed us. We hid it for a long time afraid that we would be judge and probably crucified to the grave. It caused a lot of friction between us. Working out the kinks meant social abstinence, a renewed mind and repentant heart and countless hours of soaking ourselves in the word of God.

My confession still stands. I've been guilty of being sexually immoral before uttering my " I do's". Am I happy about it? Heck No! Sex outside marriage is wrong and God forbids it countless of times. I wrote this post to encourage the believers who have gone through what I've gone through, who struggle to maintain their sexual purity. There is hope in your mess. Redemption is freedom from sin by turning away from it. 

A lot of us, including myself, were exposed to immoral things growing up. The battle of living holy isn't an easy grip to hold onto, but God's love and mercy gives us another chance to be right with him. Chains from our past shouldn't be an excuse for us to sin—yes it's hard. However, we were bought at a price, that exchange; rendered our bodies to the Lord "The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord and the Lord for the body | 1 Corinthians 6:13|. We are not of our own and therefore we must die to our sinful nature. 

We have the right to make our own choices and do what we please, but not everything is beneficial | 1 Corinthians 6: 12|. God instruction for no sex before marriage is to protect us and to avoid all the drama that comes with it. I've been blessed with someone who is not perfect but, has the same understanding and outlook on what God intended for sex to be. Our relationship hasn't been easy, but we have found  hope in the one who stripes heal wounds from the past. Be encouraged! You may have failed in the purity thing, repent, seek God with all your heart and flee from what can destroy your soul!

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. |2 Corinthians 4:16| 



For the sake of love, 






13 comments

  1. Nana!!! I struggle with this day by day. Just last year I was chanting "purity here I come". No more meanlingless connections with boys who only value me for what I have to offer them physically. But that fall thou!!! Got me depressed, isolated and confused about whether to get back to God because I believed that I let him down by breaking my promise. But God loves us regardless of our mistakes and downfalls. He wants the best for us and to protect us from feeling empty due to our sin. Thanks so much Nana. I needed this.😇❤❤
    #Godblessyou

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    1. Linda , where sin is increased grace abounds even more. Condemnation is not from God as long as we repent he just to forgive. Love you girl

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  2. This was so beautiful to read! Thank you for sharing!

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  3. Nanaaa!!! Lord. This is so awesome. I love how you open up and share..a lesson in bearing each others burdens. God's mercies endure forever. Thank you for sharing this!!

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  4. You an epitome of God's child. Thank you for encouraging and keeping it 100 for us Christians out there who face such a struggle and such a temptation. I pray that God continues to instil in us the desire to be pure because it means a lot to him and it protects us from a baggage we aren't obligated to carry! Love ya ❤️ Thank you for inspiring me Nana.

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  5. Thank you so much for posting this article. I thank God for your transparency and the encouragement you extend to us believers who have and will struggle with this sin. The Lords grace and mercy has been my testimony dealing with sexual sin. His word healed me as well my church. The Lord will is SOVEREIGN and loving but He is also a God of wrath. I pray we don't take His love for granted and that we continue to emulate his son while being led by the works of the Holy Spirit. Thank you Nana! -Betsy

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  6. Hi Nana this is a very beautiful piece you have written. Thank you so much for sharing this! I'm also going through the same situation right now and it is really taking a toll on me physically and mentally, and sometimes I feel like hiding in a box and being alone because you have no one to talk to about this especially with African parents, but after reading this I have hope that one day my sexual sin will no longer take over me. God bless you for sharing this and may the Lord increase you in all areas of your life!

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    1. One thing that encourages me every time I mess up is that we are never too far from God's grace to turn back or make things right. Jesus died for every sin and even the ones that seem like we can never get out of. Be encourage you already have the victory! Thanks for reading love

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  7. Hi Nana! This is such an encouraging post. Thank you for being open about this stuff. I truly need it as a single woman who never knows what or who would come next in my life. I am very inspired. I pray that I would hold purity so important as I would other things when the time comes. God bless your heart. Thanks for sharing!

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