But one thing is necessary

Apr 28, 2016

This morning I woke up and decided to gather all my thought and pour my heart out to God. As the words started to leave my lips, they became murmurs of complaints. Why this? Why that? How come this? and Why not that? All I could think about saying to God was all the wrong that was happening in my life. So anxious about everything going on all around me, even the noise of the builders banging their equipment against the wood outside my window made me more annoyed. I quickly added it in my prayer that the noise was becoming too much and I was starting to lose my focus. 

Oh Lord, Nana, really ? You're complaining about the construction workers too? They are just doing their job.In the midst of my prayers I was reminded about the story of Martha and Mary, so eager to make sure I got all I had to say out to the Lord I decided to quickly turn to the scripture before I ended off my prayer. 

This is what Jesus said to Martha, 
"Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary". | Luke 10: 41-42|

That one thing that was necessary was Christ. It wasn't the things that troubled Martha or made her anxious.She was missing out on the very thing that was in her midst that could take all her troubles away and calm her anxious heart. I was so worried about all the things on my mind I missed out on the presence of God. My focus was just making sure that God got everything in my life in check instead of just sitting at his feet and embracing how good He is. In not doing so, I forgot to be thankful about all the things that he has already done in my life thus far. 

How many of us are Martha's? I know I am, but I'm working on it. I know it can be tough when you've been asking for a job and you've been applying everywhere and no one is calling you back--it's easy to complain. Or when God has given you promises but the promise is no where in sight. Let this be a reminder that although our troubles can weigh heavily on us,  we shouldn't forget to give God the praise for all He has done or who He is in our lives. It's okay to be anxious about the future but don't forget the one thing that is necessary-- JESUS!

for the sake of his love, 


To Value & Protect

Apr 25, 2016

I have been trying to write about this subject matter for what seems like a hundred years. I write and re-write because on one end, I have to maintain the facts that surround this subject, while at the same time making sure my emotions don’t overwhelm and take away from what I am trying to say.  Sexual violence stories have taken quite a prominent role in our news stories, from Bill Cosby to Jian Ghomeshi. Women have been bravely coming forward to expose the violence done to them by these seemingly powerful figures, who generally had the respect and support of the public.  What these stories have done has not only revealed how despicable and vile these men’s actions were, but they have also revealed how deeply imbedded patriarchy and misogyny is within ourselves.

I say it is within ourselves because we are society. Our actions, words, beliefs, values have created the miasma that we live in. We perpetuate patriarchy in how we talk about women, about men, about our relationships with each other, with our environment. It’s done subtly and expertly through movies, music, tv shows, art, fashion etc.

Sexual violence has no basis in any expression of love.  When someone commits a sexual assault, they are not loving, caring, valuing or protecting the person they are assaulting. Instead, this person (or people) are using force to humiliate and dominate, control and coerce another human being. Forcing submission.
Sexual assault isn’t contained in our general understanding of extreme violence. Sexual assault can be forced oral contact (kissing), groping, fondling, oral-genital contact, vaginal penetration and anal penetration.** When you impose your will upon another human being and you act upon them without their consent, you are committing an act of violence.  When you demean, and devalue, and essentially kill someone’s spirit, you are committing an act of violence.
And what do we say when a man forces himself on a woman, drugs her, fondles her, coerces her into sexual activity? Do we rise up in anger over his actions? No. We look at the survivor of this man’s actions and we wonder what she could have done to deserve the violence perpetrated against her. There has to be a reason for this perfectly rational man to humiliate, dominate, abuse, and exert his control on her body. Perhaps her dress was too short? She was probably too flirty! She was definitely asking for it, having her cleavage and ass out like that. It started off consensual and now she is crying “sexual assault?” Oh, she’s just embarrassed to be labeled a whore! These and many other phrases are used to justify acts of sexual violence! No one deserves to be violated. NO ONE DESERVES TO BE VIOLATED.
But patriarchy says it’s ok. Patriarchy forces a silver lining and says, “If how you behave, dress, and just generally if a man wants you, he has the authority to exert force on you, uninvited or not.” Patriarchy says that you can’t possibly sexually assault your spouse, because your spouse belongs to you. They are your property to do as you please.” Misogyny says there are times and places and moments where a woman DESERVES the violence she receives from a man. Patriarchy and misogyny do not require consent. They don’t respect boundaries. They say that you cannot withdraw consent. That you cannot stop what you have started. That you are responsible for the sexual violence perpetrated on you.
And we internalize this. We end up saying “Well, sometimes girls are too flirty, or are dressed provocatively, so of course it’s going to turn a guy on and make him want to do something…” Similar statements like these are protecting and validating acts of sexual violence. Men become animals that act out based on stimulus. They have no control. How then do we expect to have healthy, respectful relationships with rabid, uncontrollable animals? How can you not fear such an animal?

This place where we validate acts of sexual violence rather than deploring it is killing all of us.  It’s hurting the way we relate to each other. It’s hurting the way we support each other.

God calls us to be holy as he is holy (1Peter1:16). There is no room for sexual violence (or any kind of violence) in Christ. Not when you are single. Not when you have a significant other. Not when you have a spouse. Using your power to abuse, humiliate, dominate, violate, exploit or coerce another human being is not Christ-like. God tells us to build each other up (1 Thessalonians 5:11); to love one another (John 13:34).  In Christ, we are to value and protect and protect each other. Holiness is not just for women to clothe themselves in. Men are to be Holy as well. Because when you start to value human life/ human bodies, you will find it abhorrent to coerce, violate, humiliate or abuse another human being.

Everyone has a right to be treated with respect and dignity. When you use your power to dominate and humiliate, you have stripped away that person’s Human Right. Furthermore, we must be vigilant in the music, films, advertising, fashions that we consume that validate misogyny and patriarchy. We can’t continue to prop up our friends, family, favourite artists, musicians, fashion labels, producers, directors, teachers, professors, etc when they perpetuate the very thing that is corroding our society. We cannot continue to complain about patriarchy and misogyny when we find it entertaining and harmless, depending on the context that suits us. Hold all these people accountable. And most of all, let's hold ourselves accountable.

Sexual violence hurts all of us.

We need to STOP protecting people who commit sexual assault/sexual violence.

The perpetrator is the one who is at fault.

Not the survivor.

For The Sake of His Love,


Bellow is the link to the sexual assault centre:

Apr 15, 2016

In my wilderness feed me with mana.


Why I started Youtube ?

Apr 2, 2016

So for all my readers who don't know, I started a YouTube Channel. Now, I must admit the decision to do YouTube was out of the blue. I didn't expect to add YouTube as another thing on top of my schedule as a new years resolution. It was the farthest from my mind to be honest.  Anyways, about 5 years ago  I contemplated doing YouTube and never followed through with it. Eventually, the desire just slowly faded and was never taken seriously. Friends would always suggest I should do it, but the will to put myself out there for the world to see was something that frightened me.

I'm very big on my dreams. Other than his word I believe that's how God communicates with me. So early on this year I started having vivid dreams that I was doing YouTube. At first I just thought: man my mind is playing games with me or something. So I brushed it off like it was nothing. Not long after that dream I had a friend of mine randomly messaged me and suggested that I should consider starting at channel. At this point it was all noise to me. I had no desire to sit in front of a camera and record anything. With all the things going on in my life considering YouTube would be adding more on my plate then I could already handle.

I continued to ignore all the possible signs that maybe God was telling me something.  A few weeks after my friend messaged me I was having a conversation with my sister and the topic of YouTube came up AGAIN!!!! Then again I had a meeting with this girl who I was meeting for the first time, she mentioned to me that she had read my blog and she thought it would be a good idea to start YouTube. At this point I"M LIKE HOLD UP JESUS LIKE WHY CAN'T I LIVE ?. It was clear that Jesus was trying to get my attention, so I took it into prayer. I asked God that if he really wanted me to do this thing he would show me and the type of content he wanted me to do it on.

Although I was reluctant about the whole thing the idea of skin care and talking about my struggles with beauty kept coming back to me. But I ignored it and wanted to hear from God himself. Unfortunately after praying about it continuously I got nothing.  I think at this point the Lord was over me. He like Nana are you deaf or dumb ? lol I'm playing; but you get the point don't you? After about a month of not hearing from God I just ignored the thought of starting a channel.

Until one morning my friend Avrielle called me and told me that she had a dream that I wanted to record a video of me doing lipsticks swatches on her. Coincidentally, that same night I had a dream that I was watching myself on YouTube talking about beauty related things.

It was obvious what God was telling me at this moment. So I obeyed and just started it. While setting up my account God confirmed it to me again: the description of what my YouTube was about was already filled in saying " Beauty and "Skin Care". I totally forgot that when I had intended to start my YouTube Channel 5 years ago I wrote that in the description box.

To be honest I'm really not sure why God wants me to put myself out there. I'm reluctant about what such a platform does to people and that makes me so fearful of laying out all my flaws out for the world to see. This was no way a choice I made on my own and although I don't know what will come out of this, I came across this scripture that gave me so much peace about what I have chosen to do.

"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot. | Matt 5:13|

I am the salt of this world. The salt that refuses to lose it's taste!

Here is a link to my channel : HERE

Don't forget to like and Subscribe!

for the sake of his love, 

Not bound but free

Apr 1, 2016

I'm not really sure how this post will turn out. Right now my thoughts  are all over the place. I could plead for insanity but that would make me a little more delusional than I ought to be. Sometimes I wish I could be my own hero. Fix my problems and mend all that is broken in my life instantaneously. In the certainty of time I could bring my own healing right away and spare myself from all the frustration. I guess what I'm saying is if I could be my own god in a split second I would...sometimes. 

The wailing of my anxious heart often carries a load over my head. Like burning coals, I can no longer carry the shame of my guilt. The challenges of my heart give into the idles I put before God. Speaking about my struggle with lust is something I contemplated sharing on my blog for a while now. I know it's not for me to keep. I would be lying to my readers, myself and simply removing God out of the equation. I would be manipulating the truth to feed into societal approval and self assurance that things are done better for people than for myself.

I guess I'm crazy for thinking such a way. I must admit that I’m unapologetic  for my thoughts. Unlike others I can admit that I wear my flaws on my sleeve. I can admit that my walk with God is difficult and in the midst of my frustration most of the time I become impatient. I'm aware that my imperfect nature from the beginning of time was caused by a fall that I did not ask to happen but somehow has a great impact on my choices. I would rather be my own god in some moments because I lack the understanding of how God is working in my grief. I glorify myself rather than trying grasp the reality and truth that he’s on my side and for me. 

I have nothing to prove to anyone. I'm not perfect. I struggle every single day to get it right with God. Sometimes I'm afraid to admit to anyone what i'm dealing with. That’s the deadliest thing I can do; the devil is very crafty he wants us to hide our struggles so that we can wallow in it. He’d rather us not share it with anyone. 

I'm not afraid to admit that I need help !

I realize in this moment that I cannot save myself. The power that I have in me doesn't have the capacity to make me whole. So who will rescue me? Seriously who will rescue me ? I know exactly how Paul felt. His transparency in Romans 7 gave me a greater perspective of the struggle with sin.  That in his own will he knew exactly what he should not do but still continued to do it.  Most Christians today if they were to come across Paul they would say that the man needs deliverance or the holy spirit isn't present with him. Like seriously what kind of person continues to do the exact same thing and knows very well that he isn't supposed to do it ? Like where is the fear of God? 

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