Jun 13, 2015

You let men ride over our heads; we went through fire and water, but you brought us to a place of abundance.
|Psalm 66:10-12|


Open wounds in my chest.

I’m no longer afraid to let you in.

I want to be me, what YOU intended me to be.



The Silence kills,

Afraid that I’ll lose myself.

Buried in light,

Cus darkness seems to be too right.

Wrong time, left turn.

Obstruction ahead.



Resurrection in bed.

Goodbye to the lies.

Alas, I’m alive!


Jun 12, 2015

Chambers of the soul enclosed with kisses.

Distorted memories, blurred out visions.

Exhausted thoughts from the pain, if only I could run from it all into another dimension.

Free Rein!

Breathless, only to encounter the dangers of the past.

Desires to reconstruct, fears to adapt.

A lonely heart, time elapsed.

How can I really be me ? through blinded eyes that apprehend to see?

Truth is, the kisses have fed my soul and now have become one with the ONE in control.

For the sake of his Love,

A stamp of freedom

Jun 11, 2015

    Wow, it's been such a long time since I sat down and poured out my emotions! I don't know if my heart has been heavy, my minds been clouded or my spirit is flat out dry within. Whatever it is, in the midst of this journey my mind has been struck down with so many things that I cannot even physically begin to put into words.
    I'm a writer, or at least I would like to assume that I am. I find my escape in pouring out my heart on paper. I get an adrenalin rush every time the pen hits the pages, it's like a spontaneous combustion, a work of art or the feeling of falling in love for the first time! It's close enough to the high you get when you first experience God's love. And if you've never experienced that love then picture your first kiss with your crush-- it's exhilarating! A sweet escape! That is exactly how I feel when I get to run away into that place and let go.
     For a very long time the battle of finding my passion was quite horrific. Just the thought of it made my stomach turn or clump into knots. I made myself believe that if I could just run away from anything that challenged my well being I would never have to encounter it again. Wrong! The challenges came, and every time I tried to escape, it followed me.
     I was a caterpillar afraid to grow into a butterfly; I accepted the identity my parents wanted me to be and never had the urgency to even think about finding myself. I was afraid that if I stepped out the box I would lose myself or not meet the standards that were being measured against me. So I stayed in the box and chose not to grow. They wanted me to be a certain way so they could brag to their friends about me being a pharmacist, their perfect facade. It was safe and it assured them peace at night. But I was not at peace: I felt lost, numb and just flat out confused!

      Being in a place of confusion sucks. Your mind messes with you; you question who you are and if there's any point to your existence. You subconsciously start to envy those around you because they seemingly have it all figured out.  You are full of despair; you are sad, angry and discouraged. You throw yourself a pity party, and as weird as it sounds, the only thing that gives you a sense of relief is laying in your bed and crying yourself to sleep.You doubt and constantly replay your regrets in your head like a broken record. Trust me, I know; when I speak, I speak from experience because I've been there countless times. 
     It was not until I found the courage to ask, to speak and to rise above the fear that I found my art. I fell in love with a King and he started to form me into this glorious masterpiece. His thoughts for me were perfect; they aligned with his will. He showed me that the very thing that I was running from is the very thing for which I was created. So you're probably asking how did I figure it out ? When did I know for sure? Well you already know the answer; it's that desire that you can't stop thinking about. The ideas that float in your head but you're too afraid to even go for. It's the passion that you're afraid to admit to yourself that you have. It's your art, it's you, all that you were created to be!

     So just don't settle because everyone has an opinion on how you should live your life, what you should do and when you should do it. Just don't settle because you are afraid. Fear is something that will rob you of your joy. As I sat in God's presence this morning, I came across a verse that reassured me:  For all the promises of God find their Yes in him. That is why it is through him that we utter our Amen to God for his glory( 2
Corinthians 1:20 ). His promises are Yes's and our Amen solidify our gifts for his glory. So if you're still trying to figure what your gift is or the passion that you're so confused about, I encourage you to commit your plans to God and know that if he has placed the desire in you, his promises are Yes's and that Amen that you seal to end your prayer with will be a stamp that will bring glory to his name.

Commit your work to the LORD, and your plans will be established.(Proverbs 16:3)

For the sake of his Love,


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